Hi,
This week was challenging and yet proved to be an extremely successful
week in regards to our investigators. We had 9 investigators that were
able to come to church, which was very exciting after a difficult week
of not feeling very well. But, we'll be having a baptism in a few
weeks:)
I had a boil last week and started taking antibiotics. The antibiotics
worked great and my boil starting healing. The problem was that the
'eye' started to heal itself despite my boil still being painful and
full of pus. So to speed up the healing and to get rid of my boil, I
made my own passageway for the pus to run out. I was actually really
surprised that that much pus was having a party underneath my skin.
Sister Ticzon was extremely grossed out, and I think I probably
would've been too if I was watching someone else squeeze pus out of a
boil. ANYWAYS, the pain is gone and my arm is now healing : ) I'm
really enjoying the hot, humid, tropical climate here, as well as all
of the interesting sicknesses that I've never experienced back home.
: )
I would like to share a few thoughts that were finally verbalized,
last week in my journal, in regards to my last area in Pilar. I would
like to share a few things that I had the privilege of better
understanding. I wish that I could express this to all of you in
person, because I know how emotionless emails sometimes can be, but I
cried as I wrote this, and hope that in some small way, you could
relate or connect to this:
" I can say without shame that in the low points of my mission- I mean
those times when I was beyond tears or emotion- those times where I
felt like I was rolling on the ground in the darkest of nights and I
couldn't see anything, were the times that I felt a divine presence
unlike anything I have ever felt. It was a hope. It was pure strength.
It was love beyond my small capacity. It was then that I better
understood why I came here and what I was supposed to learn. I better
understood what the focus is of what we teach to other people. It was
then that the reality of that man named Jesus Christ, whom I have
never seen nor personally met touched my prideful heart and changed it
to a believing, feeling, softened one. I was humbled and started to
rely less on my own justifications, ideals, and opinions about what I
thought 'The Gospel of Jesus Christ' was. For me it required being
humbled beyond anything I had ever experienced. BUT, because of that,
when the morning came, it never felt so beautiful and so exquisite. In
a sense, because of what Christ did, I was saved, not just from my own
sins, but from my own fears, my own defense mechanism, and my own
false ideals and thoughts."
I also want to share a few things that I read in a talk by Boyd K.
Packer, called 'The Mediator.' My father first gave me a copy of this
talk when I was 16 years old and kept asking my parents, my leaders at
church, and even the missionaries in our ward about why we need Jesus
Christ. I was at a loss about why the 'Atonement' is needed, and even
how I could actually apply this event that happened over 2,000 years
ago to my life. What's the real application? I think this talk was a
small stepping stone for me in understanding this and I am grateful
that almost 7 years later, I am still learning from it. I don't want
to spoil the fitting parable that he used, but just wanted to mention
a few things...
"We become so accustomed to learning through our physical senses-by
sight and sound and smell, by taste and touch-that some of us seem to
learn in no other way. But there are spiritual things that are not
registered at all. Some things we simply feel, not as we feel
something we touch, but as we feel something we feel....As surely as
we know about material things, we can come to know of spiritual
things."
In regards to the Atonement of Jesus Christ, Packer said, "This truth
is the very root of Christian doctrine. You may know much about the
gospel as it branches out from there, but if you only know the
branches and the branches do not touch that root, if they have been
cut free from that truth, there will be no life nor substance nor
redemption in them."
As an ending to Packer's talk, he said, "I have carried with me a
great desire to bear testimony of the Lord, Jesus Christ. I have
yearned to tell you in as simple terms as I can, what He did, and who
He is. Although I know how poor mere words can be, I know also that
such feelings are often carried by the spirit, even without words. At
times I struggle under the burden of imperfections. Nevertheless,
because I know that He lives, there is a supreme recurring happiness
and joy. There is one place where I am particular vulnerable-when I
know that I have abused someone, or caused them hurt, or offended
them. It is then I know what agony is. How sweet it is, on those
occasions, to be reassured that He lives, and to have my witness
reaffirmed. I want, with fervent desire, to show you how our burdens
of disappointment, sin, and guilt can be laid before Him..."
I love Jesus Christ. I love His gospel. I know very little about
anything, but I know ^ this is real. I love you all and hope that in
some way you could connect to this.
-Sister DV