We had another lesson with Brother Razon this week. He has some sort of an allergy that has been affecting his skin. He talked about how he knows that he doesn't have very many years left before he dies and he wants to see his brothers and sisters again at church. I was thinking about his sickness and feeling that it's humbled him-making his more aware of his vulnerability and his age as well. He was offended by some things that were said to him, over 10 years ago by his friends at church. We talked a lot about forgiveness with him. Despite him saying that he's forgiven people, it's obvious that he still has some negative feelings towards people. He wants a sincere apology, but we talked about the importance of forgiving unconditionally, even without any apologies given. I've been praying a lot for Brother Razon, to have his heart softened and to apply forgiveness in his life.
On Sunday morning, we walked into the chapel and saw Brother Razon sitting down, happily talking with one of the men that he was offended by over 10 years ago. I could not hold back my tears:) Sister T and I wanted to run up to him and give him a hug, but a tear-filled handshake was mutually exchanged between us. He was happily welcomed by people he hasn't seen in years, and I was so happy for him.
This old, hardened, angry man was here finally, forgiving and loving his old friends again. His friends thanked us for bringing him back, but I felt so strongly that our lessons with him, our work with him was so small in his process. He shared his testimony yesterday during Sacrament Meeting and talked about his sickness and his old age. It took him getting older, getting sick and realizing the shortness of his life to humble himself to finally accept what we would tell him. It took him being humbled to finally start forgiving people. It was his first Sunday back in years and I can't express the joy I felt for him. We were talking to him after church, in the hallway, and he's already talking about getting more people involved in Home Teaching. : )
On Saturday, during a jeepney ride to Plaza, I had a beautiful few moments of just being-breathing. I was trying to take it all in- the sun, the smells, missionary life. I'm very grateful to be here. I'm loving my mission more and more. There is no other time in my life when I can go into people's homes and love them and encourage them to improve their live-to live a life more in harmony with God. I am grateful that I've had this opportunity to struggle and learn. I am worried sometimes about the lack of time that I have to process everything. I would love months and months to process everything, and I'm sure I'll spend years afterwards processing everything that has happened.
My testimony of the Book of Mormon grows more and more every week. I have so many questions still about a lot of things, many still un-answered, but I am finding unexpected answers to my questions, bit by bit.
E.B.- So happy for you. So happy. :)