+--PAGASA--+

I love this gospel. After general conference I feel so so indescribably full. I am in awe at the beauty of life and more recently the application of the atonement for myself, has become real. I am understanding how grace can be applied to my life. 

I have a new companion, Sister Lumanog. She is from Bacolod, in Visayas and she is teaching me so so much, including how to wash my clothes faster. I was a little humbled this morning when Sister Lumanog, a small filipino woman, started to help me wash my own dirty clothes. I am shocked by her sincerity to help other people. 

My dad sent me a talk by Boyd K. Packer, called 'The Mediator.' I read this talk in high school when I started to want to understand the atonement better. I have found that though it's been a while since I've read it, different things have seemed to sink more into my heart. It's interesting how old things, once revisited seem to connect, in an ever fuller way. (I especially appreciated his description of spiritual knowledge and what that actually is.)

Conference was beautiful and I never cease to cry whenever I hear 'Come Thou Font,' as I believe it communicates some of my deepest feelings of inadequacy combined with the hope that only comes from God. I particular loved and hope to reread the talks by Dieter F. Uchdorf, Donald A Hallstrom, Dallin H. Oaks (He cries more and more at every conference. Maybe it's because he's feeling more and more the things he's saying), and D. Todd Christofferson. Small answers seem to come to questions I've had in small, small ways, and General Conference seems to be more and more helpful the older I get. 

Yesterday, we had a beautiful experience of being guided to where we needed to be. I had just heard an incredibly sad, discouraging story of a member's older sister, not being able to take care of her children and thus decided to sell her twin babies at the market, not to the knowledge of her family. (This is not normal here and was definitely an illegal deal.) I felt like crying at the prospect that someone's life could ever be diminished to a mere 5-10 thousand pesos.

The appointments that we had planned to go to did not fall through and we had an extra hour and a half before we needed to go home. I was feeling a little at a loss, since I'm leading the area and I know who lives where, who is who, etc. I didn't know what to do but felt the strong desire to pray and seek for guidance. The member that was working with us, Jerome, said a prayer to give us guidance. Sister Lumanog started asking him if there were some members who lived nearby, or some former investigators nearby. He actually remembered one family that was being taught by the other set of missionaries that used to be in our area, but were transferred out. (There used to be 4 Sister missionaries in our area.) He knew where they lived, and so we went to their home and they happily welcomed us in. They fed us a yummy rice desert and while Sister Yumol and I were talking, she told me that it felt like we had known each other for a while, by the way we were talking. I, as well, felt extremely familiar with her. We decided to share the story in 1st Nephi Ch. 8 about the Tree of Life. As we started the lesson, she opened her Book of Mormon and remembered that this was actually the exact same chapter that the missionaries shared to them, before the transfer, during their last visit to them. 

God is mysterious. I am humbled to be a part of something so much larger than my own world, my own sphere of family and friends. I am so so grateful for the darkest of moments, especially on my mission, as the moments of pure hope seem to echo even more.  I wrote in my journal a few days ago, " I have hope. I cannot fully explain my feeling, but it is a small light that I didn't have before. an effect of the atonement? YES."

P.S. My dear dear friend, Katja got just engaged! !!! !!!! Yes for being in love. Yes for brave people.

<>

One time when I was talking to a woman who has a small shop, I gave her a pamphlet, but had a mix up with my Tagalog.

 

I meant to say, "Gusto po namin iwan eto para sa inyo po."(We'd like to leave this for you.)

But I actually told her, "Gusto po namin iwasan eto para sa inyo po."  ( We'd like to avoid this, to you.)

 

I was pretty far off, but I'm hoping she didn't hear me completely...

 

Anyways, this week Sister T and I did some exploring and we found out that there is a small island called, 'Lambiki' that is only accessible by boat. There's around 300 houses there. We unfortunately can't travel by boat as missionaries, but it definitely made me curious about the people there.

 

We attended a funeral service on Friday at which Sister T and I were invited to speak. I was very intimidated, but it was also another new experiences for me. Filipino funerals are pretty interesting. It's the second funeral I've attended and it's much more intimate than any other American funeral I've been to. The body/casket is just inside the home, with a glass plate covering the body. A ton of people are packed in there with a lot of loud crying. I could almost feel the love they had for their deceased sister.

 

The idea of 'family' has kind of sunk into my thoughts this week, especially at that funeral that we were able to attend.

I was thinking about my legacy that will be left here on Earth in 200 years. The idea that my artwork will still be looked at in 200 years is a lofty and probably unreachablewish. What about my eperiences, my ideas, my knowledge, my physical traits? Through generations after me, these things can continue to exist. I hope this makes sense...

 

My respect for the idea of 'family' has deepened incredibly. I've had several friends talk about they don't want to bring children into a world like ours, with the problems that we have. But, I realized that without the opportunity to procreate and to start new, there's not much hope for any sort of positive future.

 

SHOUTOUT to my Mom and Dad: Thank you for life!

 

 

(.) (.)

   >

 -__-

000

Hello my fairly full friends and frank-ish family,

I experienced the some of the lowest lows this week, combined with some very joyful, triumphant moments. I have never experience this amount of stress for such a prolonged amount of time. I want to apply the atonement more in my life. I am a little stuck at the 'how,' but I believe it will become more real to me.


Alma 46: 40--  Random verse? Maybe not. Maybe the source of our relief is closer to us than we imagine.

Pictures: There was a bug, the size of a small dinosaur that fell on it's back and was stuck. I decided to empathize with him for a moment. 
There is also a picture in the palay -ricefield. I think you can see them harvesting in the background...The monkey also had an uncomfortable human-like stare to it, and I wanted to show you all. 

Lovin.

-----0----

Sister DV

"I thank the Lord for my Soul"

(This is last week's email, but I forgot to post it last week...sorry :( )
This is what I was listening to someone sing this morning from the Catholic church by our apartment. English and all. I thought it was actually pretty beautiful, especially from the drawn out voice of the person singing it. I actually did thank the Lord for my soul after hearing it.

I have less than a year left on my mission.  It is weird how fast time has gone by. It feels like days just fly and fly. One of my friends who recently returned home from a mission told me - "don't ever come home sister. please cherish every minute moment, especially the hard ones. it is hard coming home..." I think that will probably be the case for me, despite the large amount of stress from serving here. Sister T often talks about how the mission is the one time in her life where she didn't have to worry about work, school, dating, relationships, etc. and that it's difficult to start caring about those things again. 

I keep thinking about how nice it would be to rest for a while, and then I realized that the rest of my life will consist of work (a different kind, of course.) Work is part of overcoming the 'natural man.' --Moroni 9:6

I've still been thinking about the trials, problems that people so openly tell us. Last week I was feeling overwhelmed by how much people tell us. During a conversation that Sister T and I were having, we both talked about how we felt the need to stop talking about people's problems, to try to focus on something else, something more positive. For her, she felt this way towards the beginning of her mission. For me, I'm feeling it now. The interesting thing that we realized is that difficulties/problems seem to be so essential for us to feel, recognize, thank, and grow our faith in our Creator. We hear all of these really sad, terrible stories and experiences, but for these people, often they'll tell us these stories accompanied with how God helped them out of a terrible situation. For so many people, the dark times help them to recognize, feel and see light in a hopeless, dark situation. (gaining of spiritual knowledge---please read Alma 36: 3-5)

The other thing I realized about hearing all of these things, is that for many of these people, they don't have other people to talk to about these things.  I also realized that if I don't listen to them, who will listen to them? Who will hear these things, if we don't? (Mosiah 18:8-10) 

We visited a long time member, Bro. Danan, who was baptized in a swimming pool- a very long time ago.  We asked him how he came to know and understand that Joseph Smith was a prophet of God. I loved loved his description of that spiritual knowledge. He talked about how he felt it in his 'head,' his 'heart' and his 'body.' I empathize with that description he gave in regards to spiritual knowledge. 

I love the scriptures. If I served my mission for 18 months and the only thing I took out of it was a love for the scriptures, that alone would be worth it. Inexpressible deliciousness. 

lovin you all from the other side of this small world,
Sister Vickers



E.B.- I put a small PS in a past email 3 or 4 weeks ago-I got your package and 3? of your letters.all great and fantastic. thank you.

8

This week was a blurrrrr. We ate Balut. (Surprisingly delicious.) Feel free to google-image that. :) The member who's house we were ate told me to not look at what I was eating and I followed her advice.

We had companion exchanges on Tuesday and I went to Florida Blanca again. We went to a less-active woman who studied Iridology, year ago. She looked in our eyes and told us what sicknesses we have. She told me that my eyes were 'malinis' (clean) and I was kind of relieved, even though it's probably not very legitimate.... haha

I lack time to fully process everything that is going on and sometimes I feel like I'm not very important or influential. I realize like that verse in Alma 34:32-34, that anything great or beautiful or miraculous that has ever happened, started out as something small. 

We had a very interesting lesson last night. We taught a first lesson to a man who wasn't very fluent in Tagalog. He speaks Kapangpangan and the church members who were with us, basically had to translate what he was saying into Tagalog for us. It was a very weird feeling to be watching someone talk and then hearing the translation from someone else. We sat on broken and borrowed chairs There are over 80 dialects spoken in the Philippines and they are basically separated by geographical areas. People learn Tagalog in school, as that is a national language. But, in their homes or families, they'll speak their dialect from their area, so sometimes it's hard to people to express themselves in Tagalog as they don't speak it everyday.

As far as the language is concerned, my understanding is much better than my speaking. Speaking is a bit slower for me. I am conversational, but not yet able to discuss deeper things...

I was feeling overburdened with everyone's problems towards the end of this week. We taught a lesson to a recent convert who was baptized 6 months ago. He wasn't able to come to church the past two weeks because his family wouldn't have had food. He sells ice cream on his bike and is supporting his sister's family as well as himself. It's easy to run in circles with questions like, "Why wasn't I born into a situation like this?" "Why was I born in America?"  I feel burdened with hearing everyone's else problems, that people so often load on us. Mosiah 18:8-10 talks about the baptismal covenant. Maybe I am able to better understand that covenant here on my mission. 

I feel like I'm living two cultures-retaining my identity and trying to be Filipino. I realized a long time ago, that there are things in my personality that would hinder me from being a successful missionary, here in the Philippines, as the culture is so, so different from America- ideas about family, ideas about food, the culture of food, ideas of what is rude-what is polite, the indirectness of the language itself, etc. It's been interesting for me to learn to respect their ideas about things. It's also been a struggle. I've learned submissiveness, which is not really a character trait that I understood very well before my mission.

On the other hand, I have never valued my citizenship so much in my entire life. I found myself becoming cynical at times before my mission about problems in America. I was telling Sister T the other day, that the fact that most Americans have food, safety, and a clean environment is more than what most have here. America is a blessed country, despite the problems that we have.

Ever learning and ever yours,

Sister Vickers

masayamasaya

Thank you for the birthday greetings and hellos everyone! It was a fairly ordinary day, full of Tagalog and bugs and lots of stares.

We had another lesson with Brother Razon this week. He has some sort of an allergy that has been affecting his skin. He talked about how he knows that he doesn't have very many years left before he dies and he wants to see his brothers and sisters again at church. I was thinking about his sickness and feeling that it's humbled him-making his more aware of his vulnerability and his age as well. He was offended by some things that were said to him, over 10 years ago by his friends at church. We talked a lot about forgiveness with him. Despite him saying that he's forgiven people, it's obvious that he still has some negative feelings towards people. He wants a sincere apology, but we talked about the importance of  forgiving unconditionally, even without any apologies given. I've been praying a lot for Brother Razon, to have his heart softened and to apply forgiveness in his life. 

On Sunday morning, we walked into the chapel and saw Brother Razon sitting down, happily talking with one of the men that he was offended by over 10 years ago. I could not hold back my tears:) Sister T and I wanted to run up to him and give him a hug, but a tear-filled handshake was mutually exchanged between us. He was happily welcomed by people he hasn't seen in years, and I was so happy for him.

 This old, hardened, angry man was here finally, forgiving and loving his old friends again. His friends thanked us for bringing him back, but I felt so strongly that our lessons with him, our work with him was so small in his process. He shared his testimony yesterday during Sacrament Meeting and talked about his sickness and his old age. It took him getting older, getting sick and realizing the shortness of his life to humble himself to finally accept what we would tell him. It took him being humbled to finally start forgiving people. It was his first Sunday back in years and I can't express the joy I felt for him. We were talking to him after church, in the hallway, and he's already talking about getting more people involved in Home Teaching. : )

On Saturday, during a jeepney ride to Plaza, I had a beautiful few moments of just being-breathing. I was trying to take it all in- the sun, the smells, missionary life. I'm very grateful to be here. I'm loving my mission more and more. There is no other time in my life when I can go into people's homes and love them and encourage them to improve their live-to live a life more in harmony with God. I am grateful that I've had this opportunity to struggle and learn. I am worried sometimes about the lack of time that I have to process everything. I would love months and months to process everything, and I'm sure I'll spend years afterwards processing everything that has happened. 

My testimony of the Book of Mormon grows more and more every week. I have so many questions still about a lot of things, many still un-answered, but I am finding unexpected answers to my questions, bit by bit. 

E.B.- So happy for you. So happy. :) 

David and Goliath

Last week was exhausting, and I'm not feeling 100% so I'll probably keep this short. OH. No transfers. Sister T and I get another 6 weeks to learn from each other, here in Lubao. :)
Sister T and I had an interesting experience as a companionship. We are learning more about each other and have identified a few things that are keeping our companionship in Unity. After a tear-filled conversation, I am very excited to learn how to recreate our companionship.

Interesting breakthrough---We've been meeting with Brother Razon, every day for the past 5 or 6 weeks. (Razon = Reason, in Spanish, which fits him very well actually) Brother Razon is a long time less active member- over 10 years, I think. He had a lot of high callings and loved the church. He became less-active due to him being offended at something someone said. (This is actually an interesting problem here in the Philippines. People get offended at the smallest/weirdest things. I think it's also a part of their culture- people are super super sensitive and are often 'round-about' in their speech to not offend other people. Sometimes, it's annoying/hard for me to have to be super indirect with people for fear that they will get offended.) We decided that we wanted to get a bit more personal with him and get to know HIM better instead of him just wanting to discuss scriptures. We had a very very interesting lesson in which, I think, we had a breakthrough with Brother Razon. Sister T asked him a few personal questions and he kept ignoring them. She kept asking him probably 5 or 6 times, and finally-somehow we got through. He actually cried, and shared a couple of beautiful experiences with prayer. It was the first time that he shared anything personal with us. He talked about how he wants to come back, and  to be in the branch again. I was a little shocked at the whole experience. I felt like we trying to teach Goliath, and then we found out that he had a heart, had feelings, despite him having a hard, hard exterior. I felt humbled to be able to share that experience with him.

I feel like I'm always relearning the concept of faith.

I feel like I could say more, but I'll keep it short.

Inggat.

PS.- Alma 15: 17 --self awareness--

Kaya mo iyan!

I feel like I just emailed. Weeks are starting to fly fly flllllllyyyy. By the end of next transfer, I will only have 12 months left of my mission. mabalis na mabalis.

This first picture attached is of something I found at the mission home this past week. I would like to echo her sentiments about her experience with sacrifice. Although I will probably never experience a fraction of her trials, I am realizing that there is an undeniable connection between sacrifice and obtaining or absorbing spiritual knowledge, knowledge of God. "The price we paid to become acquainted with God was a privilege to pay." I feel that exact same way, with my mission. It is difficult to be a missionary but it is so beautiful it in the sense that I am understanding things about the atonement, and things about the priesthood that I haven't really been able to understand until now. (Alma 12 & 13) I understand better what "even by study and also by faith" means in D&C 88:118

On Wednesday, we were in Santiago visiting a recent convert there and her father in law was there and wanted to join in on our lesson. He is afflicted with brain cancer as well as throat cancer. A tumor has been growing on his neck because of it. Needless to say, he is in an incredible amount of pain 
 I had a difficult time understanding him as his speech was very mumbled. He talked about his experience with his sickness and I was humbled by his faith that God would heal him, and if God would heal him, that he would re-prioritize things in his life.

Tears came to my eyes during the lesson and even right now as I'm writing about him. I can't really explain or express my desire to give him relief-to make him better. I cried on our tricycle ride home and a few things regarding the atonement permeated my thoughts. I would not have been able to learn more regarding the atonement or have this experience if it wasn't for this sacrifice of serving a mission-serving God. 

Another picture is of Sister T and I with her trainer. Another picture is of us at a recent convert's house for a birthday party of her grand-daughter. Her husband makes and sells ice cream on his bike for a living. (I think you can see some canisters in the background?) Filipinos call homemade ice cream 'dirty ice-cream' and I think it's delicious. 
  
On Tuesday, we taught a woman named, "Erly." She told us in English, "It's like "Early' in the morning!" She is old and very cute.

We have 2 new investigators in 'Saug.' We haven't really explored that area, but we were able to explore it a bit on Tuesday. I decided that I wanted to retire there and find a home inbetween some rice fields...

We had a Sister's Conference on Thursday/Friday at the mission home. It was very good and also very 'cheesy' as Sister T calls it. : )

Transfers are on Tuesday, which means that I'll most likely have a new companion and will probably have to lead the area here in Lubao, which will be an exciting challenge for me. BUT, I'll find out for sure on Tuesday. I feel like I'm just starting to get familiar with this area, and I really would love to stay.

We taught a family, who's home was built on stilts (I think?) above a swampy pond area. The wood floor was literally sagging and we could see through to the ground. I've never been afraid of falling through someone's house until then...Sister T and I were a little hesitant to walk in their home as we are not small people. 

A woman in the ward (We just call her 'Nanay Tala") , during a lesson with her, gave us each a 10 peso coin as a gift and reminded us that 10 or 1 and 0 (1+0) is still 1. The coin has 2 faces on it and she reminded us that as a companionship, we are together - we are one, despite being two of us. I thought it was a beautiful reminder of the importance of Unity. It reminded me of Amos 3:3.

I am happy and well and am starting to become a Filipino (minus their habits on eating rice...) 

ingat kayo.

Day with Grandma

We did companion exchanges on Tuesday and luckily enough I got to host Sister Cuizon who was my trainer's trainer. (my grandma) I learned so much from her and observed how she interacted with one of our difficult less-active members that we are focusing on. 

We have some new investigators this week. Daniel and Evelyn Diwa. They have 3 children, ages 1,2 and 3. We met with them last week in their small home. We sat on the floor by their 'bed' which was just cardboard with blankets on top. They had a TV though. Even the poorest people have TVs. We invited them to come to church, but they didn't end up coming. He told us that he didn't have shoes, and so didn't feel like he should come. We reassured him that coming in flip-flops is fine. :) He thought that the Mormons looked like 'attorneys' with their white shirts and ties and nice shoes. 

The worldwide leadership training broadcast on Saturday was actually very good. I don't have my notes right now, but Uchtdorf's talk was very beautiful. He focused on the purpose of the work we do in the church. The WHY behind everything. The purpose gives perspective and motivation for the work. The WHY is of course related to 'love.'  Love for God. Love for our brothers and sisters. 

It's interesting how I'm starting to get used to things that before I would've been appalled by. Last week, we taught a lesson and someone's chicken was wandering in and out of their home. I realized later that I almost didn't take note of it.  So normal now. 

We had a lesson with some kids whose parents are less active members. I was in awe at how our lesson went. Our last lesson with them was cut short because they are seemed very distracted. We were a little worried about how this lesson would go, (if they would be interested or how well they would listen.) This most recent lesson with them was a beautiful experience for me. I saw kids who were previously so distracted, staring at us in silence as we spoke. Some of them even told one of the other kids to be quiet when he would start to talk. It was as almost as if they were hushed. It was like they were silenced. They felt something and I could literally see them as they felt something. They asked us when we were coming back to teach them. :) 

So often Sister T and I will go into a lesson (depending on the person) and not be sure about what exactly we will share with them. (Of course we always plan for everyone, but the plan often gets thrown out as we start talking with them, asking them questions, get to know a little about them, etc.) From there, we will feel inspired to share a verse, or for me last night, I felt like I should show a painting of Christ from an art book that we have. That spurred conversation which lead to Sister T sharing a few verses from 3rd Nephi 17. (which is actually my favorite chapter in the BOM.) From there, we focused on 'love.'  love from God, love of God. It was a beautiful lesson. It makes our lessons kind of exciting as they kind of evolve on their own.

We've made it a goal to always let people know that we love them, every lesson. "Mahal namin kayo." 

OK. BYE. LOVE YOU.


PS.

Corpse- Got your Dear Elder. I am so relieved that there is Mogu Mogu in America...

Kyoo-Got your Dear Elder as well. I'm planning on sending you a letter sometime soon!

Gary Cho- Got your 2 letters and I was told that your package is here, so I'll get it this week. Loved your letters! 

Melissa Shwanson- Letter coming soon to yoouuuu.

Magaganda

Kamusta kamusta,

Sometimes I feel like my time here can't get any more bizarre, and then somehow it does. 

We met a ton of new people this week-people off the street and a lot of referrals as well. The baptismal service we had this week was beautiful and I was so happy to be a part of it. I hear stories of missionaries that help people change their lives. Sometimes I don't feel like I'm doing any good, and then sometimes I feel like the tiny part that I am doing is actually helping someone and it is beautiful to see. 
 
On Thursday, while we were trying to buy fresh buko juice (only 5 pesos, P.S.) we had an older man come up and buy it for us. He started talking English with us and we thought the whole thing was kind of funny actually. Then, he asked if we wanted to visit him and teach his wife. We took him up on his offer and went to his home. We met his wife and they fed us pakwan (watermelon). They used to live in America and it became apparent that they weren't really interested in our message but that he wanted to talk with us because we are American. They were both very very friendly though. His name is Conrad. He told us in English, "You can call me Daddy Conrad! I"ll be your dad in the Philippines! Mama Luce can be your mom!"  Pretty comical experience. :)

Humility is a difficult principle to understand as well. I have never had so many humbling experiences. It is very uncomfortable and also very necessary to be humbled. I'm seeing the link between faith and humility and learning.

I've never realized how much language is a part of someone's personality. There are ideas that are expressed in English, that cannot be expressed in Tagalog, and vice versa. (You would enjoy this, Katja:) ) I think that is a very bizarre and yet beautiful thing. Language affects culture which affects language. 

I'm trying to get to a point where I feel like I can adequately express myself in Tagalog and get to a point of feeling somewhat normal with the language. Even in Spanish, I felt like it was much easier to express my thoughts.

I enjoy teaching and all of the many terrifying things that are involved. Sometimes there are those moments where people look up at you and there is a profound connection made. 


God is very alive, in chaos and in peace. 





P.S.Katja- Love your letter. I sent a big one your way about 2 weeks ago. Fish with flies. Done and done.

Kakaibang nanay

I never used to believe those stories that missionaries would tell about how they would meet people at exactly the right time or exactly the right place. I thought those stories of 'divine intervention' sounded pretty unbelievable, but this week we had an interesting experience...

We went to San Pedro after a really difficult lesson (for many reasons) with one of our younger investigators. Anyways, I felt like crying (which doesn't really happen that often for me) We got there around 6:45, and we had a dinner appointment at 7:30. We had time for one lesson and we had several people that we were hoping to visit but I wasn't feeling the best and we couldn't decided who we were going to visit.  We ended up walking back and forth on the same stretch of road  probably 5 times in our efforts to decide on someone to teach. We finally decided to teach Jun Escoto, a long time investigator. As we were walking down the smaller but long path towards his house, we realized that they had visitors at their home, BUT they were leaving right as we were walking up. We had a beautiful lesson and talked about the Tree of Life in 1 Nephi 8. I didn't realize the timing of everything until Sister T said something afterwards. I realized that when we had spent our time wandering the street, walking back and forth on the same stretch of road- we were basically just waiting for Jun to finish up so we could teach him. I was in awe at the perfectness of the timing, as we would not have been able to meet with until his visitors left.

We had Anita's baptism this week which was a beautiful day for us. Her 15 year old son wanted the missionaries to teach her, 3 year ago, but she didn't want to. After 3 years, she agreed to be taught and now she is baptized. The other day he told Sister T that he had seen small changes in his mom since we've been teaching her. We've learned a lot from Anita, and it has been exciting to see her progression, bit by bit as we have met with her.

Next week, we have 2 baptisms, which is exciting for us. One is Djorn, who is 14 years old. We've had a lot of ups and downs with him and he has been a long time investigator, but he has finally progressed towards baptism.  The other is a 9 year old girl who's parents are members.

(Investigator = Someone who is being taught by the missionaries)

One time when we were teaching a lesson outside, we kept hearing rustling in the tree above us. I looked up and one of their chickens had climbed up there. I've never been afraid of a chicken falling on me.

The other day, we were asked to put our spit on someone's baby-on the forehead. It's a filipino superstition that the spit of missionaries (or priests or religious leaders) will bless their baby. We reluctantly did it, because we didn't want to offend them. We couldn't stop laughing afterwards...

Filipinos are pretty unashamed of their weight. Things that would be really offensive to say to someone in America, are pretty normal here. I had an older woman tell me the other day that I was getting bigger. ( I've had several people tell me that.) The day after that when we saw our mission president, he asked me if I was exercising a lot because I looked too skinny. The truth is, is that I am actually the same weight, as when I arrived in the Philippines. Even at the doctor's office, the scale was out in the waiting room, in front of everyone. NBD. Most people seem to not care about their weight.

Yesterday Sister T and I gave talks in Sacrament meeting! It was an interesting experience to speak to a large group of people, in Tagalog.

Mosiah 27: 25-26

Sigue. Iyan lang. I love you all.

Bahay namin

I love the sense of community that is here in the Philippines. Nobody ever refers to their home as 'my home' but 'our home' (bahay namin)  Back home, I always loved the idea of doing more things as a group, of learning how to collaborate, work together, etc. I realized here, that my independent sense of self (my culture) was getting in the way of learning how to be more cohesive with other people. If we are in a group setting and someone has food, it is a guarantee that they will offer their food to everyone. I'm getting used to doing that now, to not be so -- "This is mine. This is yours." Last week we had an activity as a zone. We had a short hike and ate lunch at a member's home. They decided to not use plates or silverware for our meal. (They had plates, but decided to not use them.)
 We ate on huge, huge leaves that we put our food on and ate with our hands. :)

I loved Tian's email-about food, about being hungry, about eating, about digesting. Food is essential in any social situation here. They use food all the time, to bring people together, to show thanks, to serve, etc. I love that. I loved that idea back home, but hadn't really seen it applied so much as I have here. The spiritual application of food is so beautiful as well. Our physical hunger always reminds us that we are in need. Spiritually as well, we are always in need, but sometimes we don't recognize that. 

John 7: 37 -38 - "If any man thirst, let me come unto me, and drink. He that believeth on me, as the scripture hath said, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water."

John 6:35 - "I am the bread of life: he that cometh to me shall never hunger; and he that believeth on me shall never thirst."

Yesterday at the start of one of our lessons to a huge family, Sister T leaned over and whispered, "Start ka." (You start.) (We hadn't met this family before because they had come from the other area in Lubao that we are now working in.) I was incredibly intimidated, especially because they were staring at me way more than anyone else. It's extremely uncommon to see a white person speaking their language. I couldn't help but smiling during the prayer at the beginning. I had a feeling of, "Okay, let's do it. I'll make a fool of myself speaking Tagalog, but they'll get a sense of what our message is, and what it brings. If this work is divine (and I do believe that it is) I will receive strength beyond my own, speaking abilities beyond my own, and a love beyond what I could ever offer them." 

The lesson went well and I believe we were communicating 'love.'  

During that same lesson, one of their little boys leaned over and tried to discreetly touch my leg. When I looked down at him, he just laughed. (Yes! I have white skin!)

I am uncomfortable with how often people will stop walking down the street just to stare at a white person. Even right now, there is a kid in the internet shop that has been staring at me for at least 5 minutes. I've been occasionally turning around to let him know that I see him staring... (The sense of privacy that is in America is almost nonexistent here... ha. Even at the doctor's office, their scale was out in the waiting room, for anyone to look at if you were being weighed.) 

Like I told Sister T the first week I was here, after we had been walking for a long time, "This is refinement."
We do a lot of walking. I look at hand washing my clothes as refinement as well. I am a bit more frugal with what I wear, especially since I have to wash it if I think it's dirty. ( Mom is probably laughing right now...) I miss washing machines, but It's been interesting to wash my own clothes like everyone else does here. 

Tian, to answer your question, we do teach from the Bible. I haven't shared as many biblical verses in my emails only because I'm currently focusing my personal study on the Book of Mormon. The Bible is full of rich stories, full of beautiful truths. When I have more time to study (probably after my mission) I hope to study the Bible in depth. 

 Just a quick share from my reading this week-- Mosiah 18:14 talks about baptism in comparison to the resurrection. Words like "buried" "arose" "came forth" "rejoicing" are used in that verse. It is a beautiful comparison as baptism signifies a new life, a new start. 

We have a baptism next week. Anita has been wonderful to get to know and she is excited for her baptism. 

I should go, but thank you for your support and love.

I hope these are still exciting for you all

We had an unexpected baptism this week....

The other set of missionaries in our area were very unexpectedly transferred, so we had to pick up their huge area, and plan for a baptism they had, and learn a new area that we haven't really even begun to explore yet. I know this all sounds like missionary talk, and it is, but basically we have an absurd amount of things to do and were/will continue to be incredibly busy.

This past friday, we were able to do a service project at a member's house. They had such a gorgeous farm. They had chicken, geese, and sheep. They also grow peppers, mangos, ginger, watermelon, tomatos, and probably a lot of other things that they sell at the palengke. (John/Brittany and Ryan/Melissa would have loved this place.)

We have a new investigator too. He is the father of our branch president and is such a sassy old man. He told us, "Never in my life have I joined any church! There is only one church- The Church of God." We had an interesting lesson with him and he joked about having aircon in heaven. We enjoyed meeting with him and his wife, who is a member.

People continue to stare at me. Maybe it's not rude here... I smile back, despite wanting to just have a staring contest with people, like I would do in Ecuador. But since I am a missionary...

Missionary life is masarap. I am tired, most of the time. But there is an internal echoing of something that is just so delicious. It makes being tired feel completely worth it. I continue to gain a deeper appreciation of the scriptures. Just earlier this week, we read 1 Ne 1 with an investigator. I've read the first chapter of the Book of Mormon several times, but even during our lesson I was noticing interestingthings that I hadn't noticed before.

Sometimes I worry about not having time to think and process everything. Sometimes, at the end of a day, it feels like a dream. It almost doesn't feel real to see the kinds of places that people call 'home,' the kinds of houses they''ve made out of bamboo, and scrap metal. It is difficult to see it. It's one thing to hear about it, but it's another to see it in front of my eyes, to see the kids that aren't going to school because of money, etc. Despite all of that, most filipinos are actually very optimistic and find joy in small things and in God.

Anita,our investigator with a gambling problem is getting baptized in two weeks. Sister T and I are surprised at her willingness and desire to learn and progress.

Sister T and I continue to work well together. We laugh a lot together. It's interesting to spend so much time with someone that I probably wouldn't pick to be friends with. But, it's been a rewarding and a growing experience.

 Beautiful:

Mosiah 7:27---John 1:1,14

Mosiah 4:27

Mosiah 4:30

Mosiah 7:18

Sigue. TTYL. bye.

PS. I got mom's 2 packages and Dad's package and the package from Holland ward. THANKYOUALLSOMUCH.

Jesse M-- I was thinking about that conversation we had in Rock Canyon a few months ago. I was thinking about how you had described your feelings on your mission. ( I relate to that now, despite having set aside other concerns.)

Love it so Munch

That was on a package of cashews that I bought. I loved them so munch.

This week I was able to buy very yummy fruits that I've never tried, from when we went to Olongapo last week--guayabano, mangosteen, and rambutan. (sp?) 

I realized that Filipinos are very creative. I've seen really impressive ways of building things/ using materials. Earlier this week, I saw a man that hung a hammock from beneath a giant, parked semi truck. Just hanging out. 

I had an interesting experience last week. When we get near one of our areas, 'Control,' there are a lot of beggars there. We cannot use the money we get monthly from the mission to give to beggars, so we always just say, 'Wala.' (We don't have any.) This is a fairly normal occurance for us, especially because I am white, and the kids will run to me asking for money. 

Anyways, last week, one of the little girls starting screaming at me after I said, "Wala," and then pretended to kick me. (I wanted to cry!) Two seconds later, miraculously, the other set of missionaries in our area pulled up next to us in a tricycle and so the little kids left me and ran to them. One of the missionaries smiled at them and energetically shook their hands, as if they were pretending to give her a handshake. She told them that we have a rule that we cannot give money, but that she had a gift for them instead. She gave them candy and after they ran off, I asked her how she normally deals  with the beggars. 

I couldn't stop thinking about those children and how she had interacted with them. It wasn't  a special occurance, but for a few days, I could not stop thinking about how she did not let her attention or love end with the lowest of people. I realized that I needed to not let my love end with those people, to not ignore them anymore.  I decided to make little folded up pieces of paper with nice things written on them, to give to beggars when they come up to me. I won't give them money, but I can give them my love instead. 

I've also started a new thing to help remind people to read the scriptures. Many investigators will say that they forgot to read. Once they tell us this, I take an index card out of my bag and make a drawing for them and then write, "Magbasa." They can put it on their wall or their mirror to help remind them! I'm hoping that it will communicate to them how much I love the scriptures, other than just telling them that I love the scriptures.

I need to go, but thank you for your love and support. 

Biyay-Biyaya

One time at the MTC, I was looking up the word, "Biyaya" because I forgot what it meant. It means 'grace' or 'blessing.' I read the word right above it in the dictionary, which was 'biyay.' A biyay is a shallow tray filled with water that keeps ants from getting to food, like on a table.  We had a large problem with ants/maggots getting to our garbage. We didn't know what to do because it was getting pretty bad. Anyways, I remembered 'biyay' that I accidently read at the MTC and so we made a biyay for our garbage. I was going to send a picture of what we caught in our biyay, but I figured maybe I'll just leave it to your imagination. Our biyay was a blessing.

I also attached a picture of a small pineapple, that isn't really good for anything other than looking cute, which was definitely enough for me to buy it (for only 10 pesos!)
I also attached some pictures of what we ate at one of our Christmas dinners.  (We had four dinners.)
There is a picture of the 4 of us in our apartment in Lubao.
There is also picture of Sister T and I with a bunch of little kids on Christmas. They basically swarmed in on us, so we decided to teach a short lesson about Christmas. They were very cute. 

New Years was a bit terrifying. I was appreciate of our 6:00 curfew. Sister T said that it sounded like we were getting bombed, when 12 came. I somehow slept through it... 

(I didn't write last week, because I talked to my parents.) The past two weeks have been so great. I've eaten 'Dinuguan' which is made with coagulated pig's blood. (I included some pictures of the pig that the ward bought for the ward Christmas Party. There is a picture of some ward members cooking it as well.) We also ate cow stomach/tongue at our Branch President's house for Christmas dinner. This week I learned how to make 'pansit' from one of the filipino sisters in our apartment which is very masarap. 

One time my companion asked an old man in our lesson how he was doing, and he responded, "Mabuhay pa!" (I'm still alive!) It reminded me of something that Papaw would say. 

On the 29th, we were in Santiago (Santiago is a smaller neighborhood, another 'barangay.') We walked to San Pedro which is easily my favorite area because it is a bit more quiet and calm than in the main area of Lubao. We walked through rice fields and it was the most alone we've been since I've been here.  The sky is always changing here, and it feels alive. The stars come out around 7, after the sun goes down. It was incredibly beautiful and I felt humbled and grateful to be here. 

Last night, we had an interesting lesson. We met at a member's house for dinner on New Years. We ate outside at a table with 6 other men (They were all members/friends from the neighborhood.) We weren't sure where the mother went, but the 8 of us just ended up eating together. We talked and laughed and they asked us questions about America. It was so great to be able to interact with them in a more casual setting. More laughing, etc. 
After we ate, we had a discussion about faith. We shared Alma 32: 26-27 and we discussed "experimenting upon my words and exercise a particle of faith" and what that means. Despite it being a more participative and loud lesson, at the end we were able to have a few moments of quiet sincerity.

We have 4 investigators that want to be baptized, and 2 will probably happen this month. Missionary work is different than I thought it would be, and in some ways is how I thought it would be. I am beginning to appreciate and develop a love for this work and for people. (I am realizing that having the answers to every question that I've had isn't necessary right now. I think answers to my questions will come over many many years.)

I am continually amazed at what I find in the Book of Mormon. I feel like I am reading something that I have never read before. I am finding more than I have ever found previous to my mission. 
Jacob 4:13-14 is very very full. Jacob 4:8 too. (John 1: 1, 14 is very interesting as well.)

Tagalog is coming coming coming. Some lessons, I feel like I can hardly speak, and then some lessons, I feel good about speaking. 

I am happy.Love you all.